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Conversation starters with older people through old photos

Suggestions for using old photographs as prompts for relaxed conversations and reminiscences with older relatives, friends and people living with dementia; based on the webmaster’s experience of gathering evidence for this website.

The value of using photos as conversation starters with older people

Starting a conversation with someone elderly or with dementia can be quite difficult. You want a two-way conversation but, all too often, you find that you are doing all the talking. There is a way to help that has proved very successful to me and others when gathering information for this website. It uses old photographs to trigger memories from the person's youth when their memories and interests were at their peak. This page describes tried and test ways for you to achieve worthwhile results that are enjoyable for you and for the person concerned.

BUT don't forget! Elderly people normally have some degree of hearing loss. So speak clearly. Speaking clearly involves separating words slightly, facing them so that they can see your lips move, projecting your speech and - if it seems necessary - speaking more loudly than usual.

What content of photos best trigger memories and conversation?

Old people and people with failing memory like to talk about the past. So photographs of places or people that they once knew are ideal for bringing back a flood of reminiscences and be the start of avid conversation. However, depending on the infirmity of the person, concerned, it is likely that they will need time to get their mind into focus. So use a collection of photos, but more on this shortly.

Examples of conversation prompts and starters

If you don't have your own ideas or suitable photos, this website can help. It is packed with recollections from ordinary people who lived in the early-mid 20th century. It contains their photographs and photographs from museums, and thus relates to times when elderly people were living their lives to the full. You can of course access the photos on this site directly on a tablet or portable computer free of charge. So there is no need to use your own photos.

Where to start? Well, it will be best if you know something about the person's life. The following are broad sample prompt with links to photos and information, but do tailor them to what you already know about the individual and use them to stimulate your own ideas. Also introduce them gently so that the person does not feel they are being interrogated. You could start with something like, "I've been wondering, and I wonder if you could help me."

Did you or your parents or friends ever live in an old Victorian house or a 1930s/40s suburban house?
Were you or anyone you knew ever an air raid warden or in the Home Guard in the Second World War?
Did you or anyone you knew use air raid shelters or gas masks in the war?
Did you or anyone you knew use an old fashioned range to cook on?
Did you or anyone you knew rely on coal delveries?
Did you or anyone you knew cook with old kitchen utensils?
Did you ever watch your mothers do the weekly wash?
Did you ever travel by steam train?

Then try more focussed questions that may not have a specific photo:

What catches your eye in the photographs?
What did shops look where you lived?
What was your kitchen like?
How did you travel to school or work?
What sorts of things did you buy from the local shops?

and then more follow-ups:

What did you like about it?
What was not so nice about it?
What do you particularly remember about it?

For even more ideas, see the above ALL TOPICS link or use the search box to see if something you particularly want is illustrated or discussed somewhere on the site.

The quizzes can also be a quick and effective way in.

What is the ideal format for the photos?

The main problem with photos, particularly old ones, is that they tend to be too small to be examined closely by anyone with failing eyesight, and the light may not be good anyway. So there is significant value in having the photos as images on a tablet or portable computer. The images can be made full-screen, and computers and laptops have their own light.

A tablet is ideal because it is sufficiently lightweight to be held easily or rested on a cushion close to the person.

Showing an image on a tablet - ideal because the image can be easily enlarged and tablets are lightweight.

Don't give up though on laptop displays, family photograph albums or sheaves of loose photos - but take a magnifying glass!

Showing photos from a family photo album - but bring a large magnifying glass if possible.

Technique for showing the photos for best results

There is a technique for using the photos to best effect.

I and others who were interested in our family history found that the best way to start was to show just one photo, and say something like, "I thought you might like to see this". Then, a few seconds later, perhaps also say a few words about it.

Wait awhile, keeping the first photo in view. Do not rush. If the person does start reacting, just nod encouragingly and wait for more to come.

Wait in silence for some moments for the person to gather their thoughts, and then ask a question, like, "Do you remember this?" or "Where was this?" or "Who is it in this photo?"

If you are lucky, this alone will generate a flood of reminiscences and be the start of avid conversation. More likely, though, the response, if any, will be "Hmm" or "Don't remember".

This why you need a collection of photos rather than a single one.

Move to the next photo but put the version at the back of the 'pack', so-to-speak, whether it be on a tablet or in a photo album, making sure that you can retrieve it again later. Take your time, relax and be careful not to be too intense as this could make the person feel under attack. Keep repeating the process in a relaxed way as if time didn't matter. Yes, it does mean showing the same photos several times, but try showing them as if they are new ones.

As the person gets their mind in focus, reactions may start coming. Our experience is that they often start responding with more details even though there was no reaction at all first time round.

Showing an actual photograph, with a wad of more photos in reserve

Showing an actual photograph - but as the image shows, keep a wad of more photos in reserve in case any photo doesn't generate a useful comment.

The value of old photos for people with mild dementia

The early memories of people with dementia are better than their short-term ones, and this website is packed with pictures from a few decades ago. Furthermore, it is available without charge anywhere where there is internet access.

The value of old photos for people with dementia is accepted by the NHS and The Altzheimers Society. Their websites explicitly describe using photographs and familiar objects for reminiscence work.

Text and images are copyright

If you can add anything to this page or provide a photo, please contact me.