When I was a child in the early 1900s and there was a death in the house, the undertaker would come with the shell of a temporary coffin. Then the body would stay at home in the parlour for about a week to give time for the funeral arrangements to be made:
The relations had to be informed, and in those days we had to rely on the post, as the telephone was not for the likes of ordinary people. The custom which has long died out was the black edge to note paper and envelopes. Sometimes when our parents received one of these letters, it was their first intimidation that there was a death in the family.
If you have an old photo which illustrates the way of life that my mother describes, I would very much appreciate a copy. Pat Cryer
The order of the day was for the adults in the immediate family to wear all black clothes, and these had to be bought or borrowed. Children did not wear black. We wore a black arm band on a coat sleeve, as did distant relations. Widow’s weeds were veils of black tulle, about 2 ft [600 mm] square, attached to women's hats. They could be pulled over the face or allowed to hang down the back, and were often worn for about three months which was the recognised time of mourning. Grey was considered as half-mourning which took over after the period of the full three month mourning.
Flowers had to be ordered. Artificial wreaths were quite fashionable at the time. These were about the size of a family cake and consisted of wax flowers attached to a base and covered with a glass dome case. The donor's card was inside. These wreaths could remain on the grave for a number of years. It was customary for neighbours to collect for a wreath, usually about three [old] pence per house.
It was also customary for near neighbours and the house of the death to draw their venetian blinds. Every house had these blinds which were made of wood, and on the day of the funeral the whole road would close them, so the road looked very sombre. The sombreness was added to by the tolling of the bell in the local church.
Wooden venetian blinds at windows in the early 1900s. When there was a funeral in road, every house along the road closed these blinds as a mark of respect. What a sense of community!
The hearse would come along with a number of horse-drawn carriages which held four to six people, and the family would travel according to status.
There was quite a bit of pomp with some funerals. The horses would have black velvet covers on their backs, similar to those worn by racehorses. Then over their ears they had black plumes about 6 inches long [about 150 mm] which bobbed up and down as they trotted along. When the hearse left the house, the undertaker and his men carried their top hats and walked behind the carriages at a dignified pace to the end of the road, and then they would take their seats and the horses will be allowed to break into a trot. I recall seeing one funeral when I was a child and going home and telling my parents that they had a jockey riding with them. I was corrected and hold it was a postilion. He was certainly dressed like a jockey with a close fitting outfit and a jockey like cap with lots of braid on his jacket.
The funeral itself was a depressing affair. You may think that they are today, but with the introduction of cremation, a lot of the sting has been taken away. With the old-style funerals, after a short service, everyone walked to the grave, where the grave diggers would be waiting to lower the coffin into the grave on long braids. Then the minister would conduct another short service. When he came to the part about "From dust to dust - from ashes to ashes", he would take a handful of earth and sprinkle it on the coffin. Whatever the weather, men were expected to stand bareheaded throughout, and they often caught cold as so many deaths were in the depths of winter. So you may imagine how depressing it was with everybody in black with their black border handkerchiefs. So, with respect, people of my generation say thank you for cremation, although we did hear some gruesome tales when cremation first started to become fashionable - such as that when the coffin slid through the curtains and you saw the flames leap up. I suppose such exaggerated talk always comes with anything new.
After the funeral everyone would go back to the house for a meal which was mostly in the form of ham and trimmings. These gatherings would often end in wrangles, especially when the deceased's property and trivialities were discussed. People tended to enjoy the get-togethers, though, as some of them would not have seen one another since the last a funeral or wedding.
These recollections from around the time of the 1911 census are of funerals in working class life in north London (then Middlesex). The recollections were written in the 1980s by my mother, Florence Edith Clarke (born Cole), and are here as a tribute to her memory and to shed light on the history of the early years of the 20th century.